Connecting with Aphrodite – Seeking Out the Goddess

In my last post in the Connecting with Aphrodite series, I discussed the importance of making space for the Goddess in your life. Once you’ve created physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual space for Aphrodite, it is time to seek Her out and invite Her in.

The process and experience of connection will be different for each person. You can use what follows as a general guide, but do not feel limited by it. If you feel called to do something different, do it! If nothing happens, try the same method again. And if that doesn’t work, try something different. As I’ve said before, pursuing a Goddess is an experimental process. You have to figure out what works for you and for Her. Your connection with Aphrodite will be unique. 

Remember that you are dealing with a Goddess with Her own agency. Respect is critical. You cannot simply command Her to show up. I mean, you can – but I will guarantee it’s not going to go over very well. The process of forming a relationship with a Deity is similar to making a new friend or courting a new lover. It may feel a little awkward at first, and some of the actions will be categorically different (I’m pretty sure you’d scare off a new friend if you made an offering to them), but a lot of the same social skills will apply. Be courteous. Don’t just talk – Listen. Be generous. Don’t ask for huge favors right off the bat.

Keep in mind that relationships are a two-way street, including relationships with the Divine. You cannot dictate exactly how your interaction will go. In that, there is an element of the unknowable. To have a spiritual experience, the Divine has to pick up the line on their end of your cosmic phone call. Sometimes they just don’t. That’s okay and normal, especially when you are first starting out. As you build a stronger relationship, that connection will become more reliable.

With all of that in mind, you are ready to start seeking out Aphrodite.

Honor Her

The first, most practical and influential thing that you can do in seeking to connect with Aphrodite is to honor Her. You can do this through ritual, prayer, and offerings. You can celebrate Her holy days. You can integrate Her into your life.

While I celebrate Aphrodite every day, when I was first starting out, I paid special attention to Her sacred days. For me, this was the major Sabbat of Beltane, Full Moons (especially during the summer), and Fridays. Those were the holidays that meshed the best with my Pagan practice, and were the most natural point for me to start integrating Aphrodite.

I also honored Her on some more secular holidays: my birthday, my and my boyfriend’s anniversary, Valentine’s Day, and New Years (particularly when I was celebrating the Italian way – “Scopi a Capodanno, scopi tutto l’anno.”) As time went on, I picked up more historical days like Aphrodisia and Veneralia. In 2020, I celebrated Anagogia and Katagogia for the first time.

For a while, I tried to honor Aphrodite according to the Athenian Hellenic calendar (on the fourth day after the new moon), but this didn’t really fit into my personal practice. It felt too forced to be authentic for me, and there were other days that felt more natural and had a better flow. This experience highlighted the importance of finding ways of honor and celebration that worked for me and for Her. The most vital thing was that my heart and soul were in it, whichever day I celebrated Her.

I always honor Aphrodite on the anniversary of my priestesshood, which is also the anniversary of my dedication to Her (a year and a day before that). It is a special and sacred time for my personal relationship with Her, and marking these occasions each year has been meaningful and wonderful. You may wish to do something to mark the occasion from the first time you contacted or experienced Aphrodite – monthly, with the phases of the moon or the changes of the seasons, or whatever feels right to you.

I have some more specific ideas on how to honor the Goddess in my posts on Modern Pagan Worship of Aphrodite – Part One and Part Two.

Meditate with Her

One of the most common ways that I connected with Aphrodite early in our relationship (and still do) is through meditation. Meditation enables me to quiet my mind and to be receptive to receiving messages from the Divine. It doesn’t need to be a “completely clear your mind” kind of meditation. In fact, mine rarely are. 

My meditations are usually active, and are more likely to involve dancing or chanting than just sitting still with my eyes closed. If I am sitting still with my eyes closed, it is usually for a vivid visualization or a journey. I’ve found there is value in both the activity and the quiet, the focus and the clear mind. There are many different types of meditation (I mention a few in my Going Deeper – Are You Ready to Dive In post). Try out several, and find one that works for you. 

I find having something that connects to Aphrodite around during my meditation is very helpful. This may mean burning jasmine incense or spraying the room with rosewater, anointing myself with rose otto essential oil, holding a rose quartz crystal or seashell, or contemplating an image of Her.

I have a few different meditations on this blog, if you would like to give those a try: A Meditation to Meet Aphrodite, an Ocean Cleansing Meditation with Aphrodite, and several meditations within Rituals.

Talk to Her

Once you have set up a pretty regular meditation practice, and you feel open to receiving Divine messages, try talking to Aphrodite in that liminal space in meditation. This can be an extemporaneous prayer, a recited poem, or even just freeform chatting. The most important component of this is listening for what She has to say.

Just like in human relationships, listening is key to a successful rapport with the Divine. Communication may come in the form of audible words, a series of impressions or feelings, thoughts dropped into your head that are not your own, a flash of images, or something entirely different. The method of communication may differ depending on what method you use to reach out. For example, when I am journeying, I will most often see and hear things in my mind’s eye (and ear). While I am in a conscious focus state writing a ritual, Aphrodite will speak through me with sentences dropped into my head or typed out on the page before I can even register that my fingers are moving. It varies, depending on the day and circumstance. 

Remember that listening is more than just hearing. Did Aphrodite give you some advice? Did She answer your request? Did She ask you to do something? Listen to Her, and follow through on what She says.

Obviously, if She asks you to do something that goes against your values, you have the free will to say no. You can always say no. I have not had this particular experience with Her – She has never asked something of me that I was not willing to give. However, I have had friends with experiences with other Deities where this was not the case. Sure, there have been plenty of times where Aphrodite asked me to do something that was uncomfortable, but in each of these instances, it was about overcoming a fear or a limiting belief that was holding me back. It wasn’t fun, but I could see that it would be beneficial for me, and that She had my best interest at heart. Always use discernment when interacting with the Divine. 

But if She requests a particular kind of incense as an offering, or asks for you to honor Her on a specific day? Listen to Her, and do so if you are able.

I will put in a caveat here that sometimes Divine messages don’t make sense. Occasionally, their meaning only becomes clear with time, or in rare instances, not at all. I’ve received Divine messages that were immediately helpful, some that became clearer through further reflection and meditation, some that made sense once I was in a particular situation, and some that I still have no fucking clue what they mean. These are all valid. As I discussed in my Dealing with Spiritual Doubt as a Pagan series, the messages whose meanings aren’t immediately obvious actually help combat my doubt, because if I were making this all up in my head, it would have at least made sense! 

You may want to keep a journal of your experiences, to help track what communication methods work and don’t work, what messages you receive, and what you think they mean. It is nice to look back on a record of your experiences sometimes, and be able to reference word-for-word what was said. I’m not the best about keeping up with this practice, though I have a mishmash of carefully documented experiences in my journal, frantic writing by candlelight (also in my journal), an assortment of typed notes on my phone, and some voice memos with songs and chants.

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The best way to start connecting with Aphrodite is to just reach out. It doesn’t have to be fancy. You don’t need special tools or baubles. Just yourself, and a dedication to keep trying. Once you have successfully and consistently made contact with Her, you can begin to pursue a relationship with Her, which will be the topic of my next Connecting with Aphrodite post.

Brightest of blessings to you on your journey!

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This is part of a series on Connecting with Aphrodite. Check out other posts here:

First Steps

Creating Space for the Goddess

A Ritual Template