One of my first posts on this blog was Connecting with Aphrodite – First Steps. It has since become my most popular post by far (followed by Modern Pagan Worship of Aphrodite Part One – Who, What, Why, and When), so I thought it was long overdue for a follow-up post. For a while, I have been intending to write a series of posts about the different stages of cultivating a relationship with Aphrodite. This is Part Two in this series! Read Part One – First Steps here.
So, you’ve decided you want to work with Aphrodite. Wonderful! Perhaps you encountered Her in meditation, felt Her presence while doing something you love, or saw Her in a dream. Maybe you are fascinated by Her stories, want to improve your relationships, or desire to deepen your capacity for self-compassion. She calls to you as a force of love in an unjust world. She gives you hope in difficult times. She challenges you to make the world a better place. She inspires you to find joy in the everyday. She speaks to you.
Whatever your reasons for seeking out Aphrodite, the methods of encountering Her and getting to know Her are generally the same. In the next few posts, I will go more in depth on some of these topics.
First, if you want to invite Aphrodite into your life, you need to make space for Her to show up.
Creating Space for the Goddess
To form a meaningful relationship with Aphrodite (or any Deity), you need to give Her both the space and the opportunity to show up. By creating space for Her – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually – you are essentially putting out a metaphorical “Open for Business” sign. You demonstrate to Her that She is important to you, and that you have the willingness and dedication to pursue a deeper relationship with Her.
One of the most straightforward ways to create physical space for the Goddess is to construct an altar for Aphrodite. This is a physical space in which to honor Her, containing elements that are sacred to Her and items that help you to connect with Her. I go more in depth about the construction of an altar in my An Altar for Aphrodite series. Check out that series of posts for some suggestions on where to construct your altar, what items to include, and other considerations.
In addition to an altar, you may also wish to integrate Aphrodite into other physical spaces in your life. You may bring items that are sacred to Her into the more mundane areas of your living space or workspace. Rose quartz, flowers, candles, shells, or any other special items are wonderful options. You may decorate your home with art honoring the Goddess, through depictions of Her or images that remind you of Her. You may diffuse rose, jasmine, ylang ylang, or tangerine essential oil in your bathroom (just be careful using essential oils around pets) in Her honor. You may invest in a luxurious set of bedsheets or bath towels. The goal here is to create physical space that calls in Aphrodite’s energy and harmonizes with Her presence.
Now, that doesn’t mean you need to go out and buy a whole bunch of fancy things. Not at all. Creating physical space for Aphrodite is about turning mindful attention to the places that you inhabit and curating them in a way that Aphrodite would enjoy. For anything you do, make sure that you love it, too! Aphrodite is a Goddess of Love and Pleasure – Your own love and pleasure are important in this process. Make an altar that brings you joy! Luxuriate in your favorite food! Tune into Her energy and see where it takes you.
Creating mental space for a Goddess is a bit trickier, but no less important. This involves making sure you are open and mentally prepared for connection with Her. This can include simpler things like acknowledging Her and thinking about Her as you go about your day. The mental aspect also includes more difficult challenges like being honest about your hesitations with experiences with the Divine and confronting your fears about Deity.
Not everything about your relationship with Aphrodite needs to be planned (in fact, this process works best when you leave room for magick to happen), but you should be able to answer a few important questions before you embark on your journey to the Goddess:
- What are your expectations?
- What are your fears?
- What are your hopes?
- How will you record and make sense of your experiences?
- How will you know when you are on the right track?
- How will you know if you need to try something different?
- How will you know when you are ready for the next step?
Speaking from personal experience, working with Aphrodite runs the complete range of emotions. The majority are nurturing and gentle, such as love and compassion, but as I have said before, Aphrodite will make you deal with your shit. There is a surprising amount of shadow work that goes into real love, opening up to vulnerability, and letting go of your fears. Aphrodite helped to guide me through all of this, but it wasn’t always easy. Creating emotional space involves giving yourself permission to process all of your emotions, and developing a support system. A caring friend and/or a Pagan-friendly therapist can help you out with this.
I’m not saying you need to be 100% prepared before you embark on a relationship with Aphrodite – there are absolutely no prerequisites to working with Her and you are more than welcome to come as you are. That’s what I did, and I figured things out along the way. However, a little preparation can help you better navigate your budding Divine relationship and enable you to better handle any emotional things that come up.
Creating spiritual space for Aphrodite involves welcoming Her energy into yours. You can do this by living in accordance with Her values, exploring how Her spheres of influence intersect with your life, and opening yourself up to Her guidance. Creating spiritual space also involves integrating Her into your current spiritual practice, or adding on new spiritual practices specifically for Her. Call to Her and leave room for Her to show up in your rituals. Celebrate Her holy days, both historical and modern. Appreciate love in all its forms. Admire the beauty of nature, and of the soul. Find Her in the little moments of every day.
As you start creating space for Aphrodite, observe what happens. How do you feel? Do you sense Her presence? Her energy? Which of these practices resonates the most with you? Which makes you feel closer to Her?
If something makes you feel closer to Aphrodite, keep doing it. If you sense Her presence in a particular place, come back to it. If you feel Her energy while performing a particular action, make it a regular part of your spiritual practice. Pursuing a Goddess is an experimental process. See what works for you and what doesn’t. Some things may not work the first time, and that is okay. Try again. Some things may not work for you at all, and that is okay, too. Your relationship with Aphrodite is unique to you and Her. And that is a beautiful thing.