This is part of an ongoing series on connecting with and building a relationship with Aphrodite. Check out my previous posts here: First Steps, Creating Space for the Goddess, and Seeking Out the Goddess.
Once you have made space for Aphrodite in your life and invited Her in, it is time to focus on the work of deepening your relationship with Her.
Declare Your Intentions
What kind of relationship do you want to have with Aphrodite? Do you wish to become Her devotee, dedicant, or priestess/priest? Are you looking for something more casual – perhaps only working with Her during the warmer months and on special days of love? Or something in between?
It is important to seriously contemplate the kind of relationship you seek with Aphrodite. That’s not to say that this can’t change! Just like in human relationships, you may start with something casual and then yearn for something deeper. Or Aphrodite may show up and be very active for a specific phase in your life and then as that situation fades away, so does your work with Her. I don’t know exactly where the quote comes from, but it is said that people come into our lives for a lifetime, a reason, or a season – I’ve found this to be true of deities as well. You may have a “reason” – something specific that you are called to work with Aphrodite on or for. Maybe that is self-compassion, healing from trauma, or helping with a romantic relationship. Aphrodite could figure prominently in your life for months or years, or for a certain phase of your life – a “season.” Or you could form a lifelong bond with Her, that may wax and wane over time, but remains incredibly important in your life.
None of these timeframes is better or worse than others, and it’s okay for it to change from what you originally thought it might be. I sought Aphrodite out for a very specific reason (help with my romantic relationship) and through a sometimes-gradual-but-frequently-not process, I ended up in a lifelong bond with Her.
Declaring your intentions is important for both you and for Aphrodite. For you, it helps you to sort through what sort of actions you want to take to cultivate your relationship, and can help you set goals for yourself and your spiritual practice. As I mentioned in a previous post, working with a deity is a very experimental process. Having a clear intention helps you to know if you are headed in the right direction.
It is also helpful for Aphrodite in knowing how to best support you and in knowing what to expect from you. If you declare that you are dedicated to becoming Her priestess, but then only honor Her once a year on Beltane, your intentions and actions are not in alignment. Just like with human relationships, it isn’t great to make promises you have no intention of keeping. We all make mistakes from time to time, and I have personally found Aphrodite to be very forgiving. Sometimes we think we want something when we really don’t. Or we think we have more energy to dedicate to something than we realistically do. In those cases, an honest conversation with Aphrodite is generally enough to clear things up. This also isn’t to say that you should continually underpromise – Sometimes making those structured commitments is exactly what we need to jumpstart our spiritual and personal growth. If it is something you truly want, but just don’t know how to make it happen, make that clear to Aphrodite that you might need some extra help. In my experience, I’ve found Her to be very receptive to these requests, and help may come from unlikely places.
Open a Dialogue
After you have done some soul-searching and decided on what kind of relationship you want to have with Aphrodite, it is time to open and maintain a dialogue with Her.
Relationships with deities are like a partnered dance. Sometimes you are leading the dance, and sometimes She is. Reading your partner’s cues, following your intuition, and going with the flow are important. And, most importantly, the dance requires enthusiastic participation from both parties.
You will make mistakes. You may lose the beat occasionally, or metaphorically step on Aphrodite’s toes. This is a part of learning, and a part of any relationship, human or divine. Aphrodite does not expect perfection. She does expect respect.
Clear, direct communication is important. Be honest about your needs and your abilities. Learn to recognize when something is truly above your capacity and when a request is a challenge to grow personally and/or spiritually. Aphrodite has challenged me with many things over the years. Some I knew would be difficult, and some even seemed impossible. Each time I said yes and followed through, I learned so much about myself and I deepened my relationship with Her.
Listen
As I mentioned in my Seeking Out the Goddess post, listening is vital to the cultivation of any Divine relationship. A dialogue involves two people, and both must contribute and listen to what the other has to say. Listening entails active contemplation and a thoughtful response to what is communicated.
Aphrodite may “speak” to you in a variety of ways. These can be internal experiences, such as seeing images in your mind’s eye or hearing words inside your head. It can also be a gut feeling of deep knowing. At other times, She may speak to you through external experiences, such as through divination tools, signs, or synchronicities. I go into more detail about some of my own experiences in my post My Experience of Aphrodite.
You may need to experiment with a few different communication styles to find what works best for you and Aphrodite. This might be different depending on the situation, as well. For example, divination may work well for asking for guidance on specific situations in your life, but not very helpful in asking Aphrodite what kinds of offerings She wants for Beltane this year. The type of communication may also dictate what styles work best. Prayer may be a clear and easy way for you to express your personal needs verbally, but perhaps you hear Aphrodite best when you are dancing or creating art instead of using words.
Divination tools may be helpful when you are first starting out if you have a hard time tuning in to listen to Divine messages. You might choose a tarot or oracle deck that resonates with Aphrodite’s energy (I like the Cosmic Dance Oracle Deck by Tess Whitehurst and Sedona Soulfire, with beautiful art by Elenor Eaton) or perhaps a rose quartz pendulum. Maybe scrying works well for you – in fire, in smoke from rose or jasmine incense, or in salt water. As your relationship with Aphrodite deepens, try communicating without the tools and see what new pathways may have opened up for you.
Practice Reciprocity
Relationships with the Divine should be reciprocal – and exchange between both parties. Just like with human relationships, it isn’t kind or respectful to constantly ask and take from someone else without giving anything in return.
This giving to the Divine typically takes the form of offerings or devotions. In my own personal parlance, “offerings” are what I call physical items: a candle, artwork, a poem, a crystal, incense, food, drink, seashells, et cetera. “Devotions” are what I have taken to calling my offerings of action – there may or may not be a physical item associated with it. Devotions could be artistic expressions such as ecstatic dance or painting, practices like conscious eating or self-care, learning such as studying Greek language or reading Aphrodite’s lore, and so on. Devotions are typically activities that fall under one of Aphrodite’s spheres of influence: love, pleasure, joy, beauty, compassion, and more.
Give what you can. For physical things, it is never necessary to exceed your budget to set up an altar or provide an offering for a deity. Some things may require some saving up, but nothing should ever place you in a situation of financial strain.
Dedication and Persistence
As I’ve said before, connecting with a Deity is a very experimental process. You have to go through some amount of trial and error to figure out what works best for both you and for Aphrodite in a variety of situations. Sometimes particular techniques take a few tries for you to get comfortable with them, and in that familiarity, Divine connection is typically easier. It’s hard to focus and open yourself to messages if you are worried about saying or doing the wrong thing when trying out something new.
Communicating with the Divine is a skill, and like all skills, it takes practice. Some techniques like meditation are fairly well known as something that you have to work on to fully master. I’ve found this to be true for other communication methods as well. You can’t expect to pick up a tarot deck for the first time and immediately be a fantastic reader. You have to spend time with it, and even once you are comfortable with one deck, if you acquire a new one, you’ll have to learn how you interact with its unique personality.
Scheduling regular communication with Aphrodite is the best way to hone this skill and to learn what is needed in certain situations. This could be a regular Friday devotional every week, a prayer each morning, or a ritual every full moon. You may learn that it is difficult for you to clear your mind in a specific type of meditation when you are stressed, so you need to try a guided meditation instead during these times to help quiet your brain.
You will also learn what personal factors influence your deity communication. Personally, it is very difficult for me to receive messages if I am cold or hungry. My body is distressed, and so my attention can’t fully focus on the prayer/meditation/ritual/et cetera. You may have other limitations that you discover, and other potential, too! You may find that it is easy to communicate with the Divine when you are in a flow state while creating art, writing, or dancing. Practicing the dedication to know yourself well is an important part of this process.
There’s also the Divine side of the equation. External factors can influence your deity communication. For lack of a better way to describe it, I’ve found that the “cosmic weather” is just not on my side sometimes, for whatever reason. Messages may be more difficult to receive than normal, there may be static on the line, or the phone doesn’t get picked up. If this happens to you, don’t worry! It’s completely normal. In general, I’ve found that it doesn’t last very long – The clouds part and I can see clearly again. Don’t be alarmed if sometimes your communication waxes and wanes and you aren’t sure why. Part of working with the Divine is embracing the ineffable.
For all of the reasons listed above, persistence is key in establishing a deep relationship with a deity. It takes time to get to know yourself, to get to know Aphrodite, and to learn the steps of the dance between you both. Sometimes you may want a waltz while Aphrodite is aiming for a tango. Remember that Aphrodite wants to support you! You’ll learn to navigate the steps together, and in doing so, build a beautiful relationship.
Brightest blessings to you on your journey!
Are you ready to…
- Dive deeper into your spirituality
- Level up your magickal skills
- Develop a fulfilling devotional practice
- Receive guidance on a variety of spiritual topics
- Embrace your power
- Love the amazing being that you are
All with the support of myself and a community of like-minded spiritual seekers?
If your heart is singing YES, I invite you to join us in The Temple of Flower and Flame!
Priestess of Aphrodite 