A Burntout Witch

(Me. The burntout witch is me.)

Life has been… A LOT… these past few months. The general pandemic malaise has continued. Work required me to start traveling again, and I have a bunch of OCD freakout about that. I’ve also been dealing with burnout at work for a while – I thought once we were done with our big event in July, it would get better, but it has not. I’ve had a bunch of stressful things happen back to back… to back to back to back. Like a never-ending stream of stress. My apartment had mandatory live-in renovations and, in addition to having to pack up all my stuff like I was moving, they completely trashed the place. It was a total violation of my one safe space in the pandemic. Inflation means everything is expensive. And the political climate in the US is bonkers, with mass shootings, hate crimes, and conservatives wanting to take away basic human rights as just your normal Tuesday.

It’s a lot to deal with.

In addition to all the mundane things, I’ve also been doing a lot of spiritual work. I’ve been helping to lead my local Pagan group through our transition back to in-person events. I’ve been performing rituals, doing magick, and communicating with my Gods. I’ve been doing priestess stuff – channeling Aphrodite, counseling folks, and providing spiritual guidance. But not a lot of blogging.

Blogging has sort of fallen by the wayside the longer the pandemic has dragged on. I have spent so much time on a computer during the pandemic that my eyeballs are usually screaming for a break by the end of the day. A lot of my mundane job is copy-editing other people’s work, and when I get done with a day of that, I don’t really want to sit down and proofread my own grammar. 

So blogging has taken a backseat, which is really unfortunate because I love to write! And I mean LOVE to write. Words are intimately tied up in how I experience and relate to the world, and being able to capture my experiences and share them with others brings me so much joy!

I recently hit a breakdown point (or two…) in my life, and I’m re-evaluating how I am spending my time. It never fails that when I get stressed, in an attempt to combat the stress, I stop doing things I WANT to do in order to make more room for the things I HAVE to do – Which has literally NEVER served me well in the past and I don’t know why I continue to do it! Maladaptive behaviors die hard, I guess.

Going forward, I am going to try to prioritize the things I WANT to do – the things that nourish me and make life meaningful. This may change, depending on the day. Some days, it is a healthy smoothie, and some days it is gelato. For me, this is about so much more than self-care: It is finding what my “new normal” is on this side of the pandemic.

I can’t be in crisis mode forever. My body is tired. My brain is tired. My heart is tired. I need space for joy again. I need space for being silly. I need space for dancing, cooking, writing, reading, playing, and trying new things. I need space for peace and tranquility. I need space for creative expression.

So, hopefully you’ll be seeing me blog a bit more regularly in the coming months!

Until then, brightest blessings to you!